Delete Useless Stuff

Of COURSE he's doing it wrong - he's freakin' OLD. Those old folks can't do ANYTHING the 21st century way. They can't work their computers. They can't work their cell phones. They can't work their TV remotes. They still heat things on the stove, write letters on paper by hand, read the newspaper for information, use the phone book to find phone numbers, and enjoy speaking to other people IN PERSON. Hell, some them actually ENJOY "Old Time Radio" (on cassette tape).

DELETE these people from your contacts.

Same as your bad leads, your poorly-spun cold calls, and your past disgruntled customers that said, "Don't you ever call me again!" - they won't make you any sales, or bring you any other useful contacts. They will slow you down, and lose you money. Remember, time is money, and speed is their nemesis.

It's not "Age Discrimination", it's "Technophobe Discrimination". Or maybe "Sucks Discrimination". Or maybe "STFU Discrimination", since none of them will understand the term (or know how to look it up).

Whatever.

Help SYNC your contact info by SINKING those old contacts!

Always Have The Upper Hand

Here, an experienced professional explains his innovative method for gaining the upper hand:



In essence, The Upper Hand via Lower G.I! Although since many of the upper echelon businessmen probably never even handle pennies in this day and age, I might suggest to continue this method using twenty- or fifty- dollar bills.

Some Elucidation On ENUNCIATION

Why relinquish yourself to taking calls in a crowded foyer, lonely lobby, filthy anteroom, or worst of all, outside? "Courtesy"? Bosh!

Receiving important calls and holding important conversations in the company of others allows you to easily expand your client base. Do not neglect this oft-overlooked method of getting even more people interested in you!

Whenever taking calls in restaurants, theaters, clothiers, haberdasheries and so on, be sure to speak LOUDLY and CLEARLY so that any other nearby patrons can be readily aware of your goings-on. Some are sure to have need of whatever services you offer, and will be likely to strike up a conversation.

You may be surprised to find that many people will be drawn to you and listen to your "private" cell phone discussions, whether they want to or not!

GET NOTICED!

Do whatever you can to be noticed! Grab their attention and don't let go! Make it impossible for them not to talk to others about you. Make yourself unforgettable. "Bad" publicity is STILL good publicity.

But don't make a fool of yourself - something *just short* of the picture above.


Even though it IS pretty cool.


(Insert PITY LAUGH here.)

Do NOT Be Fooled

Don't be a PATSY: don't believe it when you hear "everyone's a winner" - only the first guy over the finish line is the WINNER. Everyone else, no matter how hard they tried, or whatever their "tough circumstances", is a LOSER.

Power In The Palm Of Your Hand

It had been said in the past that the penis mightier than the sword...but today it is obvious that a cell phoneis even mightier than a penis.

...just sayin'.

Driving Your Point Home

Never get sidetracked while making a point - those who interrupt, or worse, ignore you should be considered your enemies. If your point is the least bit important (and since YOU are the one making the point, IT IS), you must take whatever steps are necessary to DRIVE YOUR POINT HOME.